


The Right Path

by aquaxbae



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (movies)
Genre: 1940s, Angry Captain America, Angry Steve Rogers, Angry!Steve Rogers, Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Childhood Friends, Chris Evans IS Captain America, Chris evans is our Steve Rogers, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Plot Twists, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Time Skips, Unrequited Love, Years Later, bucky barnes smut, chris evans - Freeform, reader POV, sexual desire, skinny!Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquaxbae/pseuds/aquaxbae
Summary: As time went by, I had many questions come to my mind. Where did I come from? What had happened? Who was this Captain America everyone seemed to be looking for?





	1. The good ol' Steven Grant Rogers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wintersxsoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersxsoul/gifts).



> Hello everyone and welcome to my first ever fanfic!  
> I really hope you enjoy the fic and, of course, feel free to comment your constructive opinions!  
> I will probably keep updating once I'm a bit more free from college and work!

“I will leave him to you, y/n” Ms. Rogers said as she walked across the room, just to bring a box full of bandage cloth back with her. She placed the box on top of the table, next to the bottle of merbromin I had just used on the healing wounds of Steven. Then, she left us and went to the adjacent room to take care of a middle-aged man who had gotten himself a concussion from trying to fix the ceiling of his house.

“You are really going to be a great nurse” he said, letting me wrap his hand with the bandage cloth.

“I have a long way to go, actually. But I am grateful your mother is helping me with the process.” I said, smiling up at him “And… I think I should also thank your bravery for getting you into all this trouble and making me have something to work with and learn quicker”

Steven’s face got all red and he seemed, suddenly, as if he was the kid I had, a decade ago, played with in the back yard of my house. I had known him for several years and, during all that time, the way he saw the world had never changed; the way he thought it should work was still the same. If something had changed, whatsoever, was his willingness to make it a better place. It grew bigger in size with the years, even if he had not.

It was still surprising to me seeing someone like Steve, with a body built just slightly different than mine, try to fight injustice; both intellectually and physically. I would have thought it impossible that someone his size would try and beat up those who tried to bully people they thought inferior. But again, it was Steven we were talking about. The good ol’ Steven Grant Rogers.

“I wouldn’t say I was the one asking for trouble” he said as he smiled, looking right into my eyes. I could feel my cheeks blush. I got up and straightened my uniform’s skirt. I headed to the door and closed it to give us, somehow, more privacy. When I got back to the chair I was sitting on before, I took his hands and spoke in a whisper.

“Steven, I don’t want you to get hurt, you know it, right?”

“I know,” he padded my hand “but I can’t just do nothing”. He kissed my hands, said good-bye, and stood up.

At the sight of him heading to the door, I quickly stood up and grabbed his elbow. As I was wearing slightly heeled shoes, my height was two or three centimetres more than his, which, somehow, seemed to annoy him a little once he had realized.

“Steve, I am serious. I am happy to help you with those wounds and bruises of yours, but if you could-

“I can’t. If I was bigger you wouldn’t have to mind me getting beat up by some bully, but I am not. The best I can do is fight back”

I looked him dead in the eye. He knew what I thought about his ‘fight the bullies to stop them’ tactic, and I was damn sure he already knew he had to quit the talk.

“I need to leave, I told Bucky I would be meeting him at twelve and I am already late”

“Take care, Steven”

“I will, y/n. I promise”

Once Steven had left, I went back to the table where I had all the supplies Ms. Rogers had lend me, took good care of them and tidied the room before heading home.

On my way home, which took me about thirty minutes, I kept thinking about Steven and his wounds. I was so sick of seeing him suffer. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how painful those beatings were, or how harsh all the insults he was told could get. I was lucky enough to not have been bullied ever in my life because, one thing I knew for sure, I was not as strong as Steven was. If I were him, I would have given up long ago.

 

-

 

Around six in the afternoon I heard the door open, and then a ‘I’m home’ from my father greeted my ears. He came into the kitchen, left his briefcase next to the refrigerator, approached me, and left a kiss on the top of my head. Then, he washed his hands and helped me finish peeling the potatoes that were in the sink.

“How was work today?”

“Oh, it was all quite tedious today, you know? There are many things going on in Brooklyn these days. Remember not long ago you told me this city seemed to be almost dead?” I nodded in response. “Well, there have been some that thought the same and decided to get into trouble just for the sake of it”

“What has happened?” I dried my hands on the apron I was wearing and put the potatoes to cook.

“A group of three fellas robbed two bicycles, and were about to get away with it, but this guy appeared and tried to stop them” he dried his hands on his pants and headed to the refrigerator to grab a beer.

“You said ‘tried’” I pointed out, hoping he would explain the whole of the story.

“He absolutely failed. Actually, that’s why they got caught, in the first place. They gave him a beating and that’s when the police caught them. I was called to see what had happened and, when I got to the police station, I saw, you guessed it, our little fella Steven Rogers locked in a cell with the other three guys”

“He got arrested?”

I was in shock. Steven arrested? I was kind of used to him getting beaten up so, even though it hurt to hear him say he was a victim _again,_ after he had told me he would be cautious a week ago, it was no surprise at all. Steven being arrested, whatsoever, was a whole different story.

“Well, you see? Apparently, Steve thought it okay to fight the bullies and get back the bicycles, but ended up hurting one of them with a metal bar and the police arrested him too”

“This is crazy… is he still locked up? Is he okay?”

“He was seen by a nurse in the cell and, thanks to me, has no charges up on him. He is home now. You really should tell Steven to calm down on his way to pursue justice. We have the police for something, sweetheart” he said almost cracking up.

“I tried, but Steven seems to ignore any plea that comes out of my mouth”

“Maybe pay him a visit tomorrow and try to talk him into stopping this crime fighting thing”

“I definitely will, father”

 

 

-

 

When I woke up the next morning, I took some money with me and headed to the bakery across the street to buy some strawberry tartes to bring to Steven. Mr. Thompson was kind and gave me one extra tarte free of charge after I told him what I had intended for them. Then, I went back into the building and knocked on Steven’s door, hoping that he would be home and awake. When he opened the door and I saw his face, a moan escaped my lips. It was all bruised. He had some cuts on his left cheek and his right iris seemed bluer than even in contrast with the blood injected sclera.

“I see your father told you about the incident”

“You really love getting me stressed up and worried, don’t you?” I entered the house and headed to the tea table that was in the living room. Steven closed the door and followed me on the couch.

“I could say I do. The look on your face is quite sweet”

“Well, I can’t say the same about you” I responded. He laughed and took my right hand. I felt my cheeks blush, but I was too angry to let out a smile this time.

“I am sorry that I make you worry, but you know me”

“I know you, but it hurts. I wish you didn’t have to go through all these things”

“I know”

We had breakfast together and, after making sure Steven’s wounds had been well attended, I left the house and headed to the hospital to meet with Ms. Rogers. Today I was officially becoming part of the medical team. Finally.


	2. A worrisome illness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As y/n starts working at the hospital, she realises two things: that Ms. Rogers needs help, and that things are about to get ugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I decided to leave chapter 2 here so that, if anyone was interested, you had something more to read as I won't be posting for a week.  
> Please mind the fact that English is not my first language and that this is my first work. I would really appreciate it if you commented how you like it and the ways the work could be improved.  
> Thank you so much!

When I was little I loved the smell of the extraction room when it had just been sanitized. I loved visiting Ms. Rogers at the hospital in the afternoons after school and I loved playing ‘nurse and wounded’ with Steven. Thinking about it, things hadn’t changed a bit. I still loved the clean smell and I really fancied spending time with Steven while taking care of his wounds.

When I got changed into my uniform, I went to Ms. Rogers’ office at the end left of the corridor. I knocked once but got no response.

“Ms. Rogers?” I knocked again and, just like the previous time, it was all silent.

I then pressed my ear against the wooden door and concentrated. Coughs. I straightened myself and opened the door. Ms. Rogers was covering her mouth with a cotton handkerchief, and I was able to see some blood droplets in it before she folded it and placed it up her sleeve. I closed the door immediately.

“Are you okay?” her eyes were wide open, looking into mine and asking for forgiveness “how long have you been like this?” I stayed next to the door, leaving some distance between the two of us. Her eyes started to water and I felt mine do the same. I felt a knot in my throat grow.

“Please forgive me. Please don’t tell Steve” she pleaded in a whisper.

“I won’t tell him a thing, I promise” I got closer to her and she instinctively took the cloth again to cover her mouth “have you been having any medicine? Any treatment?”

“Yes, yes. Doctor Ford has given me some pills and they have helped me a lot” I got on my knees in front of her and held her hand, and even though she seemed scared to touch me at first, she tightened her grip on mine as if she was reaching for support.

“I will help you as much as I can, you know it” I looked her in the eyes to make sure the message had sunk in. She nodded. I then got up. “Make sure to tell Steven before he finds out on his own. We both know him, Sarah. He wouldn’t like to be in the shadows, not with this”

As I walked to the door, I heard her cough again. Then, she spoke in a sweet voice.

“I am so glad I met your parents twenty-three years ago”

“Me too” I said looking back at her “I am glad they decided to make you my godmother. I couldn’t have asked for someone better”

“My sweet girl… go back to work now. There are many out there waiting to be attended”

“At your orders” I got back to the extraction room and, after washing my hands, got to work.

 

-

 

Around three in the afternoon I went to have something to eat. Pearl and Dafne, the other two nurses that were with me in extractions, joined me. As we were talking about the guys that had come in during the course of the morning and early afternoon to get checked up before enlisting for the army, I saw Dr. Ford and Dr. Reinstein. It was strange seeing this pair together.

Dr. Reinstein, Dafne’s uncle, was a researcher in the field of biological regeneration, as Dafne had told me some months ago. It wasn’t quite clear to me what a German scientist was doing in our hospital, but it all seemed to me as a sign that things were about to get ugly out there.

Dafne caught me looking in their direction and snapped her fingers in front of my eyes.

“You shouldn’t be so obvious when spying on people, you know?” she said with a little bit of an accent.

“I wasn’t spying” I said in an irritated tone “besides, I am not the only one looking at them. Everyone has got the chills just by seeing them in the same room”

“y/n is right, Daf. This is like a solar eclipse” said Pearl with an amused smile on her face.

 

On the other side of the room, the two men seemed to be having a really heated argument.

 

“ _I am warning you, I won’t let you experiment with any of the wounded that are under our protection_ ” Dr. Ford said in a slightly harsh tone.

“ _Then I must communicate to you that I will leave the hospital_ ”

“ _So be it_ ”

“ _All right_ ” Dr. Reinstein turned on his heels and headed to the door. Dafne’s face showed her inner fight.

 

“Go with him, Daf” I said, placing my hands over hers, pressing them slightly, and letting them go. She got up and left the cafeteria at a fast pace.

 

-

 

When I got out from work, I got on my bicycle and headed to the bookstore. I had just received my first salary and I wanted to buy a novel Dafne had recommended to me the same day she left after her uncle. It hadn’t been a month yet, but I missed her dearly.

It wasn’t long before I made it to my neighbourhood that I noticed Steven and my father sitting on the terrace of Mr. Backer’s bar. I got down from the bicycle and walked towards them.

“Hello, sweetheart” said my father with a rather forced smile. It seemed like the conversation they were having before I got there wasn’t a cheerful one.

“Hello… I think I should leave you two… let you talk alone”

“No, it’s okay, have a seat” said Steve. He got up and placed my bicycle against the building’s facade. I sat on a chair next to Steve’s and took off my cap.

“Is everything all right?” I asked, rather worried. 

“Oh, yes, of course. Are you hungry?”

And just like that, my father settled the conversation and moved on to something else. While we were having dinner, I felt the mood get gloomier by the time. My appetite was non-existent after sitting with them for twenty minutes, which, to be honest, seemed like an eternity in the hot weather.

When we had payed and headed home, something inside of me started to grow. I was exhausted from work so, as soon as we arrived at home, I almost collapsed onto the couch. My father looked at me with worry in his eyes. Steve’s face was completely in poker mode.

“Will you tell me what has happened?” I broke the silence. I wanted to get it over with.

“My mother hasn’t been feeling well lately” Steven was still standing.

“I agree, I saw her this morning at work and she seemed rather worn out” I seated up right and looked him in the eye.

“Do you know anything about her illness?” my father came out of the kitchen and handed both Steve and I a glass of water.

Some kind of fear, a crippling anxiety, had settled on my guts. I felt as if the two bites of my dinner were about to escape my body. I wasn’t the one to tell them about what was going on, but it had been a month since I had known she was sick, and I didn’t know for how long she had kept the secret before I discovered her condition.


	3. Double departure.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time to talk about the reality of Sarah's disease, but you were anxious. You didn't expect things to go as fast as they did and, certainly, you didn't expect you two to take different paths right after it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I promised myself not to post as soon because I have to study, but I really wanted to write this chapter since it is a turning point in y/n's life.  
> Thank you so much for reading my fic and thanks for you kudos! IT. MEANS. SO. MUCH. TO. ME. ahfasfgaskfjgajh

**Chapter 3: Double Departure**

 

 

“She told me everything, y/n. She told me about her illness… but I can’t believe her. I don’t want to” Steve came near the couch and lowered himself to talk to me face to face. I saw my father leave the room and go into his bedroom. He had left us alone.

“You know then that she has tuberculosis” I said. Steve nodded, but I could see in his face that he was longing for me to say I had a cure. “I don’t know for how long she has been like this, but-“

“A bit more than seven months” he looked down at his hands, letting a glint of sadness occupy his face for a couple of seconds. Then, he went back to his strong persona, looked up and faced me. “Do you think there is something you can do?”

“Steve, I am no God. If she has been like this for seven months it is because Dr. Ford took care of the situation, but we do not know _when_ exactly he did it. I am scared something bad might happen to your mother, I really am, but as long as I know, science has done its part already.” And just as I said those last words, Steven kissed my cheek good-bye and got up to leave the house.

For the next five days I didn’t see him. Not once. I didn’t want to annoy him, so I tried my best not to go running at him and overwhelm him with my over-protective attitude. On the eleventh day, I woke up and was surprised to find him waiting for me on the couch when I was on my way to have breakfast.

“Good morning” I said in a whisper. Just then, I realized I was still wearing my pyjamas and somehow felt uncomfortable.

“She died”

I fell silent, not expecting those words to come out of Steve’s mouth. They came out mixed with rage and a stormy sadness, even though I knew he tried his best for them to come out in his regular-emotionless-way.

I approached him in a rather fast pace and hugged him as tight as I could. I felt a knot in my throat appear and, as I heard a low sob come from him, tears started to form in my eyes. This was not fair. This couldn’t be happening to him. Steve was now an orphan. No father, no mother…

“Steve…” I dared to speak after a few minutes, once he had relaxed a little. “You can stay with us if you want to, if you need company. You don’t have to stay alone in your house”

“I… I know. “he sighted. His eyes were red from crying, and his face was pale as the walls that surrounded us. “I talked about this with Bucky… he- he offered me to go live with him for a few days. I accepted”

I felt my heart ache a little with his statement, but I was relieved at the same time, knowing Bucky would take care of him made me happy in a way.

 

-

 

I was in the car with my father on our way to my new residence in Levittown, where I was sent to work as a general nurse. I was happy I had been upgraded, but I couldn’t stop thinking of how much I would miss my father, Pearl, and Steve…

 _Steve…_ _he might need my address now that I am moving to a new house_ \- I thought to myself.

I had been corresponding with Steve by letter. I had tried phoning him, but it seemed like he never was home. Every Monday I would send him a letter asking for his daily life, how he was managing, how he felt; he would answer a few days later answering my questions and asking about my father, me, and my days at the hospital. It had been already eighteen Mondays since he left my house that morning, but it seemed like it was yesterday. I missed him as much as I did the moment he crossed the door to leave.

“We are here, sweetheart”

He stopped the car in front of a three-floor building. It looked rather old, and I was a bit disappointed after I was promised a, in Dr. Ford’s words, “brand new - ** _luxurious and exclusive_** \- apartment with views to the sea”.

My father and I got out of the car and headed to the old building, carrying the whole of my possessions in a huge turquoise trunk -decorated with little pale shells- that belonged to my mother. We climbed the stairs and, about to faint from the physical effort, we reached the third floor. I really was asking myself why I had decided to take so many things with me.

When I opened the door to the apartment a breath of fresh Spring air greeted me. It reminded me of my days playing with my mother in grandma’s country house. It felt familiar and gave me a sudden feeling of belonging.

 

We spent the rest of the day cleaning the house, and dad even offered to buy a new mattress and a new stove for me, to which I certainly didn’t want to say _no_ to, as the ones I was dealing with at the moment were nearly unusable. Around eight in the afternoon we both left the house and went to a nearby hotel where we would spend the next few days until my new home was operative.

 

-

 

Two weeks went by and I had already started working at the city’s hospital. The people there were really nice and they helped me out a lot on my first week, which went by really fast.

One morning, as I was parking my bicycle outside of the hospital, one of the surgeons approached me. I remembered him as Roger but decided not to call him by this name just in case I was wrong. He was quite tall and muscular. His hair was black and his eyes a light shade of brown.

“Good morning y/n! You look amazing today!” he said with an accept-my-compliment type of smile, so that was exactly what I did before heading to the hospital’s front doors. He followed me from behind, trying to catch my attention and talking about some coffee place not far away from where we were.

“I am sorry, but I will be finishing late at night today”

“Then… dinner?”

“I can’t, I already have some plans for tonight. I am really sorry…” – _no, I am not._

For the next three weeks this scenario kept repeating. He would ask me out, I would decline, and he would go back to work; but would keep on checking on me after some hours. It was sickening.

One day, right after Ronnell -which was his actual name- had told me _all_ about the great gumbo recipe he learned from an old chef in New Orleans when he was just a little boy – “ _not at all like now, I am too into my thirties haha it is sometimes scary to think how fast time goes by”-_ , Linda, a nurse that usually started her shift right after I finished mine, enter the cafeteria and sat with us.

“Good to see you, Ronnell. It’s been long since you don’t pay this much attention to me, don’t you think? I am going to start getting jealous”

“Linda, you just ruined our conversation. Leave us, please” he sounded irritated.

“Oh, y/n, you want me to leave?” she asked me in a surprised tone. Ronnell looked at me with a strange look on his face, but I ignored it completely.

“I don’t see why you should, I would actually love to talk to you a little more, get to know you; we never got to talk much” I answered. Ronnell got up and left his tray on the table, his food still intact. Then, he crossed the cafeteria to leave, moving with rage as a kid whose toy had been stolen. _What an asshole_.

“He’s an asshole, sweetie. You should stay away from him”

“I try to, but he is too pushy”

“Honey, he does it because you have two things he loves: beauty and youth. How old are you? Eighteen? Twenty?”

“Seventeen, actually” I sounded kind of ashamed. I knew that being this young and in my job position meant two things: wealthy parents and spoiled kids.

“Then you are like candy to him. Stay away, y/n. And if you have trouble, phone me, okay?” she wrote her number down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

 

That same afternoon, I went home with a really strange feeling in my gut. I didn’t like it at all.

 

 


	4. Beware of a want-it-all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess Linda was right all along. I wish I knew before.

 

 

I got home around eight in the afternoon and I was so tired -and had such terrible headache- that the only thing I did was undress as soon as I got into my bedroom and, afterwards, head to the bathroom to have a hot and bubbly bath.

My body was welcomed by the almost scalding water, and I felt some kind of relieve, as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Saying this was the most comfortable I had been in the last eight months wouldn’t be an exaggeration. I closed my eyes and stayed in silence for a few minutes, but I opened them as soon as I felt the lights go off. _What the actual fuck._ I got out of the bathtub and looked for a towel to cover my body. As I got near the little table where I had them, I believed to see a shadow cross the bedroom.

Almost shaking -both from the temperature difference I was experiencing and the panic growing in my stomach- I stepped out of the bathroom and tried to turn the bedroom’s lights on. For nothing. _Must have been a power outage,_ I thought, but just then, I heard a noise come from the kitchen.

“y/n?”

_Are you kidding me?_ “Ronnell? How’d you get here? What are you doing here?” I tightened the grip on my towel and stepped cautiously out of my bedroom.

“About time. I’d been waiting for you for almost thirty-five minutes”

“What are you doing here?” I could barely see his face because of how dark the house was, but I could differentiate his silhouette thanks to the moonlight.

“I got out of work early and I thought _hey! Would be a really nice idea paying y/n a visit_ ” he came out of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets and a disgusting smirk on his face.

“Well, you have seen me, now you can leave” my voice came out really shaky. I would love to blame the cold breeze coming from the living room, but I knew damn well it was fear coming out of my body.

“Oh, I think not.” he got closer to me and held my arms tightly and I lost control of the towel, which fell to the floor “you are so beautiful, oh God, you are so damn beautiful” his voice was a low growl, and I felt a shiver go down my body. For the look on his face, I knew he had misunderstood the signals my body was sending for arousal.

He held me tight against his body and put his face as close as he could to mine. I was petrified. Fear had really paralyzed me. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but I didn’t have Bucky to protect me.

I felt his lips go on mine in a really aggressive way, his right hand went directly to my core. Out of pure instinct I bit down on his lips as hard as I could and hit him in the jaw with my left elbow; then, I sprint to the kitchen and closed the door. I tried to hold the door as long as I could, but Ronnell was too strong for me. He forced it open and the doorknob hit me on the side, making me scream.

He forced me against the wall, right next to the counter, and I felt a horrible pain in the back of my head. I tried to escape him scratching his arms, using my legs to kick him as hard as I could… but he was stronger. There where he pressed his hands on, he left a red mark. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth with his, kissing and biting.

Feeling my left hand be freed as he _, once again,_ strived to reach lower on my body, I took a glass bottle almost full of water. _I hope this works._ I crashed the bottle against his head, making him fall to the floor. I hoped he would be unconscious for a few minutes.

I run to my bedroom and pulled a dress over my body, took my handbag and left the house, heading to the hotel my father and I had been staying in some months ago.

 

Once I was in the hotel room, I took the phone and called the only person that came to mind in that moment. _Dafne_. My head still hurt like crazy and my side was really swollen, so I thought for the worst. I dialed twice and finally got a response.

 

“ _Who is it?”_ she sounded really pissed and sleepy.

“Dafne, I- I’m y/n”

“ _Oh, God. It is really late to call… please, tell me you are okay”_ there was a noise in the background from her side, but I couldn’t differentiate what it was.

“Actually… I could really use your help”

“ _Where are you? I’m on my way”_

 

I told her the address and then hung up. I was getting really dizzy all of a sudden, my head felt really light, but I had the sensation of having pins pricking the back of my head.

At some point while lying on the bed, everything went black and I lost any sight of consciousness.

 

-

 

I felt pain yet again in the back of my head. Somehow I was surrounded by darkness except for some little sparkles of light that would come and go, always in the same direction. _Left, right, left, right_. They got close to me and then disappeared. Then, after a few minutes, I got back to black and felt numb.

 

I opened my eyes to the sound of a familiar voice. Dafne was talking to her uncle right at the end of the bed on which I was laying. I had tubes connected to my arms, a transparent liquid with a blue-ish hint was getting injected into me via IV. I didn’t feel anything except for the craneal inflammation Ronnell caused me after hitting my head against the wall.

Both Dr. Reinstein and Dafne went mute when they realized I was very much awake and somewhat conscious.

 

“Hello, little one” said Dr. Reinstein approaching the right side of the bed. Dafne followed him on the same side and both of them stared at me for some seconds before Dafne decided to talk.

“I hope you are feeling better, y/n. You hit your head really hard”

“What happened? Where am I? And what is this thing?” I said raising my arms, making the focus of their gaze go to the IVs on my arms.

“We had to use this serum to help your brain not lose part of its function”

“I don’t know how, but you hit your head so hard it caused a hematoma, and your brain most likely had difficulties getting oxygen, thus you fainted”

“We would like to have you in observation for another week  and-”

“Another _week_ ” I cut Dr. Reinstein “How long have I been like this?”

“Nine days.” Dafne spoke as she took my right hand “We wanted to make sure you were all-right and that the serum was working okay on your body”

“This serum… what- what exactly does it do?”

“Right now we can only say it helps the human body become more effective” he was dead serious, which made me get a bit nervous and worried. “We were hoping to develop it even more and use it on people that are in need of a change in their lives and bodies”.

“And that’s me”

“Sadly, it is now”

“At least I am alive” I looked down at my hands and felt an acute pain right where I had been hit. I could hear my vitals get faster on the machine and then I fainted again.

 

-

 

I woke up in a white room. My arms were all bruised and I had some marks on them, as if IVs had been put on them.

A red headed girl that looked to be in her early twenties was talking to a man that had glasses and graying hair. They both looked at me with worry in their eyes and I could sense, by the frown on their faces, that something was wrong.

The girl came in and kept a distance between the both of us. Something about her made me feel comfortable, her soft face gave me a sense of warmth. The man, on the other hand, was only able to make my guts twist. He seemed like he had to do with me being in this situation, and I was ready to slap him as hard as I could.

 

“y/n?”

“ _y/n?_ ” I repeated after the girl “who is that?”

“It is you” the man said.

 

Both of them were really tense. Their bodies moved with caution near me, and it made me feel as if I was some kind of danger.

 

“If you are worried about it, I can assure you that I mean no harm. Or I- think I don’t”

 

The air felt really thick, as if something made it hard for me to breathe. I looked down and saw the man inject something into my arm, which I didn’t even feel.

 

Then, darkness. 


	5. Gene NTRK1

When I woke up again, all the blinds were up and light was coming from the many windows the room had. The girl and the man were inside the room already, talking in whispers. She looked at me when she noticed that I had woken up, and smiled. A man entered the room and started to talk to the old man that I had seen before. 

 

“How are you feeling?” she approached the bed and looked at me with a serious look on her eyes “We want to run a test on you. You remember the serum?” I nodded “We have developed something that might help it work faster on you”

“What is it?” 

“You’ll see when we get there” the younger man said.

 

We spent about an hour and a half in the car and stopped at a huge mansion. All of us got out of the car and headed inside. I had been given a really ugly dress, which was supposedly mine.  _ How? It’s awful _ . We entered the lowest floor and I was told to wait inside a room with the girl.

 

“I want to know how to call you” I broke the silence between the both of us.

“Dafne. That’s my name”

“It’s pretty” 

“Thanks” she smiled widely and looked at her hands, blushing.

 

We were called inside the big room and the first thing I noticed was a really modern gurney. The man made me sign a paper, which I didn’t have time to read. Then, I was told to lay on the gurney, so I did. After some time and some injections, everyone put on dark glasses and a capsule covered the gurney, and me with it. “If you need us to stop, tell us” said the older man. I heard him say some words to the younger man, and then the heat inside the capsule started to get higher. 

At some point I felt like fainting. My body was too hot and I was lightheaded, but I didn’t want to interrupt the process. As hard as I tried to not do it, I screamed in pain when the heat got to a really high point and, then, I stopped feeling it.

My ears seemed to function poorly and my eyes were too affected by the lights that had had been going on inside where I was. 

When I was taken out, I had to be guided to a room by Dafne, because I was not able to open my eyes without them hurting.

 

-

 

I had been left to sleep a bit right after the weird process they put me through. I had just woken up and my eyes were still a little bit affected by lights. Luckily, my room had all the lights turned off except for a standing light on the left corner of it, which made the room feel warm and, somehow, cozy.

There was a knock on the door and I could see Dafne on the other side of it from the little window it had. She smiled at me and looked inside the room, as if asking for permission to enter. I nodded and she came in with a tray full of food.

 

“I thought you’d be hungry”

“I am, thank you” she placed the tray on my legs and took a chair to sit next to the bed. I started eating and, to be honest, I believe the way I was doing it must have been disgusting. I pretty much stuffed my face.

“You should be cautious, these are just made, you might burn your mouth”

“It is not, and I don’t really care” I said before taking a bite from the toast.

“Oh, you really are hungry” she laughed “You lost a lot of weight on your first days with us… you need to eat everyday. As much as you can”

“I will as long as you let me” my cheeks were filled with scrambled eggs, and I wasn’t sure if she had understood me.

“It wasn’t our intention to starve you, but we needed to take care of your health”

“How long have you had me sleeping this time, before taking me here?” I stopped eating and looked at her. She kind of looked exhausted, but she kept a smile on her face the whole time since she stepped in the room.

“Eight days”

“I guess it was necessary” 

“Highly”

“Can you tell me exactly what has happened? Why I can’t remember a single thing?”

 

She told me what she knew. Apparently I had called her in a hurry and my voice was really shaky while on the phone, so she thought I was in danger; then she found me in a hotel room lying unconsciously on the bed. They took me to the first place, in which they cleaned me and started taking tests on my health status. I had a big hematoma on the back of my head, right on the cerebellum area, and two broken ribs. 

It was obvious to her that my memory loss had to do with two major factors: the part of my head I hit, and the lack of oxygen flow to the brain for an undetermined amount of time.

 

“You are lucky to be alive”

“I guess I must thank you, but I don’t really feel lucky. I want to remember”

“We will run more tests on you and we will try our best to help you with the memory loss”

“Is there any possibility that I can go out?”

“You want to have a walk?” I nodded “Come with me”

 

We got out of the room and walked through a really long corridor. After we had passed three doors, we turned to the right and climbed some stairs. When we turned left, I found, right in front of my eyes, a yard with a fountain in the middle. I went ahead and approached it to dip my hand in the water. I missed the feeling of fresh water on my skin. 

But I felt  _ nothing _ .

I looked at her with confusion in my face and her face mimiqued mine. 

 

“y/n, are you okay?” she approached me and lowered herself to sit with me on the edge of the fountain.

“No” she took my hand and looked at it “I-I can’t feel it”

“Open your mouth” confused, I did as she said. She checked my mouth and I could hear a horrified sigh before she backed up and looked me in the eyes “You have burned your mouth”

“But the food wasn’t hot. I-”

“Didn’t feel it”

 

She got up and took my hand. We headed back into the building and walked past several doors.  _ How big is this place? _

We reached a black door with a “DO NOT PASS” sign on it. She knocked twice and we entered. There were many machines -I imagined them to be for medical purposes- around the whole of the room. She walked me through some tables before getting in front of another door, this being in wood, completely out of place with the rest of the austere look of the room. 

Right after the door I saw the man with the glasses sitting in front of a desk and writing some stuff down on a piece of paper. He looked at us and stood up to greet us, but Dafne spoke before he could.

 

“We had a problem with the process. It created a mutation on the gene NTRK1”

“Must have been the rays”

“I don’t care what it was, uncle, she doesn’t feel a single thing and it is our fault!” she screamed, and I shrug a little, pretty much scared “We need to fix this. _We_ did this to her”

 


	6. A favour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will tell you there is some sex scene at the end of the chapter, just in case you were wondering where the smut part came in into this fic.  
> This is dedicated to my friend, who is a Bucky Barnes hoe... I loOOOooooOOOooooOve you, girl.

CHAPTER 6: A FAVOUR

 

Half an hour after getting into the room with the wooden door, Dafne and I were down in my bedroom again. She seemed fierce and angry, two adjectives that I believed I would never describe her with. She kept pacing the room and I sat on the bed, looking at her. The doors opened after a few minutes and the young man entered with two more men.

 

“We are going to do something about the problem” he said to Dafne, who looked as if she was trying to stop him from getting close to me. “We’ll try to know how bad it is and try to reverse it” she nodded, and so did I.

“I guess I would say I hope it doesn’t hurt but…” I shrugged my shoulders, knowing I didn’t have to finish the sentence for them to know what I meant. Dafne looked at me with so much sorrow in her eyes. “It’s okay,” I assured her “this is for my own good.” she nodded and left the room, as she didn’t want to witness what was about to happen.

“Any sign of feeling, you tell us”

 

As I nodded, I was told to lay down on the bed. During the first twenty minutes they would ask me if I felt anything. “Nothing” was always the answer. After an hour, they stopped asking and just kept poking my skin with pins and pinching it with their fingers. Once or twice I heard one of them apologize for pinching too hard on my skin, but I would had barely know what he had done if it hadn’t been for him telling me.

These tests went on for eleven full days. Stark -the young man, who was the scientist and inventor that owned the mansion in which we were- made sure to be in every single one of the sessions with me. Doctor Erskine -Dafne’s uncle- came in to help him once or twice.

They would take turns and we would rest to eat and sleep only. One day they even left me without eating to see if it affected the results, but it only affected my mood. I knew they were about to give up, it was inevitable after about two weeks with no results at all. I tried to focus in every session. I always closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing.

This time it was no different, except for the fact that I was getting anxious by the minute, I felt like I was going to cry.

_I want to feel. I want to feel. I want to feel._

Just then, after three long hours of them pinching and poking my skin, I felt a touch. Without any time to react against it, I let out a sob; the doctors looked at me, alarmed. I laughed and started crying.

 

“I felt a touch. I felt- I felt something”

 

I looked into Stark’s eyes and he looked back at me. I could see him celebrate in his insides. I knew he was as happy about it as I was.

 

-

 

{Steve’s POV}

 

It had been more than five weeks since I last received any letters from y/n. I was starting to get worried about her. _She would have called. If anything bad had happened, she would have called._ When I got home from Art School I decided to call Mr. Hayes. I dialed three times, but no one answered.I was starting to get really worried, but needed to keep calm.

Just then, there was a knock at my door.

 

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Steve” I heard Bucky’s voice from the other side of the door. “Will you open the door or do I have to camp out here?”

 

I went to the door and opened. Bucky hugged me and went directly to the kitchen, took a beer from the fridge and seated himself on the couch. He patted the empty seat next to him, so I made myself comfortable by his side.

 

“What’s up, Steve? You seem worried” he frowned and put the bottle of beer down.

“Do you know anything about y/n? She hasn’t been writing and I called her father but no one answered”

“I- ugh look” he sighted, and his body got tense as he stood up from the couch. With his hands in the pockets of his trousers, he began to speak “You remember Dafne?” I nodded

“The one you’ve been flirting with. What’s up with her?” I was confused and wanted to ask more questions, but let him continue.

“Some weeks ago she called me telling me there had been a problem with y/n. Where she works- worked” he corrected himself “There was this man that tried to hurt her, and-and he hurt her, so she was put under observation by Dafne and her uncle”

“Is she alright?”

“I haven’t had any notice from Dafne for days” I started to get alarmed, and I knew for sure that Bucky could see it written all over my face “Don’t worry, she is certainly alive and breathing”

“Alive and breathing don’t mean she is okay”

 

-

 

{Dafne’s POV}

 

After all that had happened with y/n, I was scared to leave her alone. I felt responsible for all that had happened to her from the moment she stepped in my uncle’s laboratory. I was consumed and tired, and every time I looked in the mirror my dark circles would get deeper and deeper.

It was around twelve at night and I had just left y/n to sleep. I was at the office Mr. Stark had lend me, writing down the progress we had made with y/n’s case, when the phone rung. I jumped in my seat, not expecting a call so late at night. I took the phone and talked.

 

“Good night, who is it?”

“How’s my favourite girl?”

“Bucky? Are you crazy? It’s so late”

“I wanted to ask for a favor”

 

Around half past two Bucky arrived at Stark’s mansion. He parked on the front yard and I went directly to the car. When he got off of it, I received him into my arms and he planted a fierce kiss on my lips, making my knees feel weak. I followed him with the kiss and kissed deeper, as much as I could. Then, I heard a car door close, and Steve started walking to the front door.

 

“We will have more time later” I nodded to Bucky.

 

We skipped to get to Steve’s side and then walked inside the building. I guided them downstairs, to the room in which y/n was. Steve seemed nervous, as if he didn’t want to disturb her. He seemed to have a battle in his mind. “Go in” I encouraged him.

He nodded and entered the room, closing the door after him and getting to y/n’s side by the bed. Bucky and I stayed outside.

 

“Did you tell him about _all_ that she’s been through?” I spoke in whispers.

“I didn’t feel like it was a good idea” he answered in the same way.

“What part did you omit?”

“The memory loss and… what came afterwards”

“It’s better like that”

“I don’t want him to suffer any more”

“He will suffer any way, Bucky”

“I know” he sighted.

“Come with me, let’s leave him alone, let’s have some tea”

 

We went to the kitchen, where I made some tea for the both of us. Bucky kept looking at me in a really passionate way as I was preparing the cups. I giggled as he hugged me from behind and plated a kiss on the base of my neck.

 

“I missed you”

“I missed you too”

 

I left the teapot on the counter and turned around to kiss him. The kiss started soft and endearing, but turned passionate in a few seconds because of how eager the both of us were. We stayed like this, kissing each other, for some minutes; until Bucky walked to the counter and made me seat on it. His hands desperate to take my clothes off.

I giggled seeing him fighting the back opening of my dress.

 

“It’s easier if you lift the skirt, don’t you think?”

 

He looked at me deep in the eye and moved his hands up my thighs. He kept kissing me, making my lips get red by the minute. His hands reached the edge of my underwear and he slipped a finger inside my core. My breathing got faster and I couldn’t help it but moan.

 

“Shh, they’ll catch us if you do that”

“Then don’t make me” I said, my voice shaking as he introduced yet another finger inside me.

 

I heard him unzip his trousers and looked at his face. He smiled at me and raised his eyebrows, asking for permission.

 

“Do it” I moaned.

 

He introduced himself inside me little by little, trying to be delicate and letting me adjust to his width. When he was entirely inside, he began to move in and out of me, making me feel all kinds of things. His fingers would rub softly on my centre and stop when he saw me on the edge of climax.

 

“Please” I begged in a whimper.

 

He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled slightly, making me finish as he kept moving inside me. When he finished, he hugged me and kissed my forehead.

 

“I love you” I felt how my heart grew in my chest as he said it. “Please, promise you’ll be around”

“Always”


End file.
